Sunday, July 19, 2009

Bad Friggin' Stripper

Candi wanted to be a stripper so badly, but club owners always showed her the door because of her size. When she came across Midget-Bing one night, she knew she'd found the place of her dreams. She's been grinding the pole there ever since.

h/t: bluebeerriver

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Bad Friggin' Mullets

It's been a while since I ventured into the unsavory world of mulletry, but I found some choice ones today over at Mullet Junky.

Bobby Jim climbed out of the Porta John, where he'd bathed for the first time in a week, and opened the water bottle in which he'd poured last night's warm leftover Budweiser and let the hot backdraft from Jeff Gordon's stock car dry his hair during each pass around the track.

Eric's first day on the job was ruined when he found out the HR lady would be snapping a photo and posting it on the company website, for mullet enthusiasts everywhere to pass around freely among twisted little blogs like this one.

Ahmed was devastated when his brothers at the mosque called him a retard and banished him. The imam even said, "You're supposed to grow a long beard, not a long mullet. Infidel. Be gone, by the grace of Allah, before we cut off your head!"

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Bad Friggin' Family Portrait

Joey insisted that he wasn't an ass. But when his wife, Pooh, and his Son, Tigger, made him dress up like one for the family portrait, he proved himself infinitely an ass, for all the world to see, on the Internet, forever.

And even Eeyore would appreciate that sarcasm, Joey.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Michael Jackson's Still Important, Except to Me

In case anyone has forgotten, MJ is still on the minds of many.

Except me...because just the mention of the guy, in addition to bringing up memories of lurid tales of His Freakishness' freakishness, really brings to mind my teenage years, and the person to whom I owe more of my snarkish development than pretty much anyone else on the planet: personal favorite and (these days) personal fight:

Cross-posted at one of my other nutty hangouts, The Big Feed.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Apparently, Dude Didn't Get The Voicemail this the monster truck rally?

Via DragYouToHell, h/t: Conservative Grapevine