Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Rainbow ZigZag Mohawk Friggin' Hair

I'm a bad blog daddy. Posting every 5 or 6 or 7 days isn't very indulgent of me. My apologies. My master over at Feed Your ADHD has me tied to a 1932 Royal Signet Serial #E5903 typewriter, banging out all of that domestic terrorist hate speech over there.

Then there's this guy, who's roped me into doing a column called the Weekly WTF?! (for "Washington Total Fails!," you dirty-minded bastard...or bitch!).

The GOOD NEWS is: I have done some research, and found hundreds of photos for your entertainment. So I'll at least try to be more indulgent of you, and post more often.

For starters, there's this:

And I'm not really sure what the hell he's going for. I remember the punker experience being about total nonconformity, so much so that the cuts punkers recorded were bereft of studio enhancement.

I digged that...then. But not now.

I'm not suggesting the guy visit a hair studio...not in this friggin' economy...but I do think it's best for nonconforming rainbow zigzag Mohawk hair guy to find a barber, preferably one with a straight razor, post haste.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Fake Friggin' Body Hair

Um...I'm sorta...wondering...


"Fashion," or what passes for it, is mysteriously beyond my understanding. I guess I'm just from the 1950s and like my women, ahem, groomed. Even the fake appearance of that much body hair on a woman makes me shudder.

Who dreams this crap up anyway? And better yet, who friggin' pays for it?

I date a girl and she takes off her clothes and shows me THOSE undies, I'll let her date the dog instead.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Miss Frizzy Mohawk

Stay the hell away from this babe.

She's so hot, she'll fry your nubber to a stubber before she even sees it. She's got AC built in, all 220v, 24/7. She makes a punker jealous. No shaving the sides and slathering Crisco on the rest needed for effect.

Don't plug in! She'll blow your transformer...

...Or, she might be a dandelion running to seed.

Either way, she's a dangerous bird.

h/t: Daily Jocose picdump

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Phantom of the Jacko


You'd think Jacko was walking through a sci-fi nightmare, barely trying to survive, hiding from the evil gorgon invaders.

Well...this WAS taken in Hollywood.

HeSheIt gets stranger every day. I wonder if hesheit is really trying to hide the latest plastic surgery behind that mask. I'm betting that nose, by now, looks like a penis.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Bad Friggin' She-Mullet Hair

We have, of course, the whacked Mayor to thank for this monstrosity.

If I comment further, those dudes with black suits and sunglasses just outside my door are poised to haul me away.


I just can't resist.


The girls on the mat are NOT going to come back to your hotel room. You do NOT classify as groupies. And if you get any closer, security for USA Gymnastics is just going to have to ask you to take a flying leap.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Coolio(Cornholio)'s Bad Friggin' Yarn Hat


Coolio either thinks he's the top of the friggin' cocks, as in peacocks, or he's got a thing for black yarn sticking out of his hats.

Maybe he just wanted something on his hat to match his hair.

Who calls them self "Coolio," anyway? You know what it makes me think of?

"I AM CORNHOLIO! I need TP for my bung hole. My bung hole will eat now!"

Friday, March 6, 2009

Fiber Optic Hair

Please don't tell me this woman will be coming to the door with a Verizon suit to install "Fios" in my home. I'm guessing that would plug me into her bizzare brain?

Didn't this look die with the '80s?

Um....Yey...I'm thinking it did.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Britney Getting Her Bald On

Oh...do I miss the old days when she was nuts...shaving here...shaving there...shaving everywhere.

Britney Spears Goes Bald - Click here for funny video clips