Bad Friggin' Personal Ad

Hi, I'm a douchebag. I have the unlucky habit of picking on off-duty police officers and little girls and vomiting on them intentionally.

I tend to beat myself for a black-eye effect because I'm really a cross-dresser but can't afford makeup.

I like long walks in the jailhouse basement with the sisters and have no future. Someday I'll be a star at familywatchdog.us.

Bad Friggin' Place to Snort Drugs

Not a lot of brains in this one:

The 26-year-old was lining up the powdered drugs on the roof of the car in a disco car park, when the two police officers surprised him, a Nuremberg police spokesman said on Tuesday.

The man had no idea the vehicle belonged to the police, and it was coincidence that the officers - who were walking by their parked car - discovered him just as he was about to take the drugs.

"He's got horrible luck," said Bert Rauenbusch, police spokesman in the southern German city.