The MouthMan Prophecies

Webshots

1. He who drink too much and leave mouth open wait for fly to come home.

2. Really, man...I mean it...you have to pay for this ride.

3. I don't know what you're thinking, Bob, but no girl's going to think that look's a good come on.

4. Yes, Bob. Your hair is your most attractive feature.

5. I swear. Adam Lambert really didn't win American Idol!

Drunk Friggin' Hair

I've been known to sauce it up a bit now and then, these days more so in the privacy of my own home than in the company of others in public. I know how stupid I can look.

Like this guy:


Dude...take my word for it. You don't need ridiculous hair to look like a fool. You've got being a fool down pat, man. Bottoms up!

Our Gang Hair

This gal's been around for a while in bad hair land. By far she outlasts Cynthia McKinney in a Crazy Bitch Bingo Static Electricity Contest, I'm betting.

I'm reminded of Our Gang (the Little Rascals, for you uninitiated). I hope she wasn't down in the hole for long. No telling what got living in her hair when she was in.

Sibling of Tongue Hair

A while back, I introduced you to Tongue Hair, simply the most hair I'd ever seen on one (presumably) human being, at the time. I thought I'd found the mother hair lode, the lair of all bad hair. (I was even considering shutting down this site...I mean...you can't really top that hair...it's just so...tonguey.)

I should have known. There are more...and there are worse. (And, so, you are stuck with me.) Take this guy/gal. I'm almost ready to accept that she/he's attached a bag of hair to her/his own. You can't really grow tips like that when your hair is 10-feet-long, can you?

Tongue Hair

The more I look at this whacky hair, the more I think of a big brown tongue hanging off the back of this chick's (I PRESUME she's a chick) head. Obviously a back sleeper, if you catch the pattern. The stuff's so matted, I can actually see taste buds. This is one case where a call for an iron would be in order.

How much do you think that stuff weighs? Does she have neck trouble just holding it up?

Weird Al (What Else Hasn't He Copied?)

Well...there's not much to say here...I guess Weird Al Yankovic just couldn't Eat It forever.... He wasn't feeling Like A Surgeon anymore.... He had Lost On Jeopardy too many times.

It was inevitable he would have a Bad Hair Day.