Bad Friggin' Signs

Little Jimmy's dreams came true.

He was able to pick up a new Silk Spectre II and complete his Watchmen figure collection, then ogle a girl in orange hot pants who looked not so much like her, but Jimmy just didn't care.

Stinky People Have Rights Too

...so said Sen. Livefree Stumblebum as he introduced his Smelly Rights Bill to Congress, pointing out the penalty for calling the stinky stinky was death by autoerotic asphyxiation.

The measure was expected to pass both houses of Congress tonight unanimously. The president said he will sign the bill next week, after rolling in (more) pig shit.

h/t: Are We Lumberjacks? via Moonbattery